Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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