she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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