so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
