i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
