Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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