I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
