people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
