I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
