and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
