i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
It's rum buckets o'clock
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
