My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
