We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
