Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
