omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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