Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
