Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
