You can't motorboat a personality
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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