You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
My life is pants optional.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
