He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
