I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
