Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
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we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
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you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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