This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
