I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Non-Jews are for practice
no, he came in my armpit
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
