she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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