Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
