she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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