From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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