I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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