I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
My vagina is very pro this idea
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
