i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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