Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
