while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
