That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
