She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize