how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
