is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
