I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
