OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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