were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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