walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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