I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
