I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid