it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
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Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her