She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped