Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.