I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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