the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
