apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
