its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
