My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
