She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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