Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
We're too hungover to prance.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
