Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
