you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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