yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I could fuck to npr.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
