I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
