I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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