drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
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