he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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