He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
