waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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