just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Randomize
