Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
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